Top Ten: First World Problems

Catherine Currie, First World Problems, Issue 3, Top Ten, Entertainment - By Catherine Currie on Thursday, September 22, 2011 - 01:15

1. There is Never Anything to Eat!

We have all done it. We have all experienced that dilemma that always seems to confront us when we are at our parents’ house, trying to will that special item to appear in the fridge. But it just seems like no matter how long the staring contest lasts, the completely full refrigerator never has what we want. This is largely just the onset of a drastic need for change.

2. Facebook Updates Too Much

Seriously, what is up with this? It just feels like every time we check for that hot guy to respond to our friend request for the hundredth time, we have to subscribe to Tom Anderson - who is totally circa 2005 - or get tagged into a photo album without the annoying black screen that we lose a little of ourselves in killing time.

3. I Am Wearing the Same Shirt as Someone Else Today

Truly one of the most embarrassing – or coolest moments – is when you see someone with that truly unique Angry Birds T-shirt you spent three hours drooling over also sporting it around campus. Anyone knows they would much rather climb back upstairs before getting caught copying someone else’s style. Even though it was mine first.

4. I Have Soooooo Much Homework

School is a drag. School is even more of a drag when it comes to homework. But when the professor really lays it on you like you are never coming back, it is the worst. Even worse than the time you actually had to remember why you did not just apply to Olive Garden in the first place. Geez.

5. Getting the Slightly Less Clean Bathroom Stall

Nothing is more horrifying than finding toilet paper on the floor and all the other stalls are either in use or harboring Dracula-sized roaches. Nothing is going to convince you to step foot into the place...except Mother Nature. Well - here goes nothing.

6. Running Out Of Gum

Is it me or does this always happen at the most inopportune moments? Someone is going to have to endure my chicken fajita breath and I will feel so bad about it. I will stand three quarters of the room away, just to escape the torment.

7. Having Too Much Change in Your Wallet

Sitting down on an over-packed wallet must be in one of the nine circles of hell according to Dante, right? All those coins, digging into the rubbery soft tissue of gluteus that do not stand a chance against a ferocious wall of money. The longer you sit, the more you understand that time sure is expensive.

8. Wanting to Drink Orange Juice After You Brushed Your Teeth

Hands down, anyone who has experienced this traumatizing phenomena should clap their hands right now...not so loud, people are studying. Anyway, this has to be one way to destroy a whole day. Discomfort after trying to just enjoy a fruit of the god’s delicious nectar? Blame those trees.

9. Stubbing Your Toe

Also known as Enemy Number One to fresh pedicures, not only does that door just treat my delicate feetsies like Grave Digger treats yellow buses, you always get some sort of clunky object thrown at your head for using your favorite swear word. Just no. Avoid these things like a plague.

10. My Computer is Dying and the Charger for My Laptop is Upstairs/Far Away

This is the most annoying of all instances. Why would computers have such short life spans? Do they not realize what it does to us to have to tear ourselves away for even a short second? Oh well, at least I finished this article in time.