TOP TEN: Lamest Tatoos Ever

Joseph Marlitt's picture

Issue 26, Joseph Marlitt, Entertainment - By Joseph Marlitt on Wednesday, April 27, 2011 - 22:20

1. Barbed wire:
Although they were once a badass’ best friends, their most recent beholders are those who love ride ATVs and watch Nascar. There is no hidden meaning behind this one folks; they really just want you to look at their biceps.

2. Tear drops:
There are two reasons you would get this tattoo: either you have committed multiple felonies and are dangerous to those around you, or you enjoy crying and are therefore a person no one wants to be around. No one likes a lame crybaby.

3. Zodiac sign:
You are so unique now! You have distinguished yourself by a lame symbol that also represents over 300 million people around the world. No matter the sign, when you tattoo it on your skin, I know we are not compatible.

4. Letters on your knuckles:
Do you really want to be holding your baby girl one day with “THUG” tattooed across your right hand and “LIFE” tattooed across your left.? If you are not careful, they may be her first words.

5. Chinese tribal symbol:
This symbol is so exotic and special and it means peace, which you totally believe in. It is the deepest meaning of your inner soul and represents your focus and ambition. It also represents the same thing on millions of other people around the world.

6. Anything on your scalp:
Mothers around the world hope, before anything else, that their son avoids having a scalp tattoo at any point in their life. The simple way to avoid temptation is to keep your hair.

7. Notorious lower-back dolphin:
You want to insult one of the smartest creatures on planet earth by associating them with a dolphin? I am sure dolphins around the world are cringing at their newfound association with tramp-stamps.

8. Ankle Butterfly:
A butterfly on the ankle is almost hidden from sight to begin with, so why take that last step and take one. It is so cute and seems like something a twelve-year-old would get . . . but you are 18 and need to grow up now.

9. Lips:
They can go many places on the body, yet each spot looks just as bad as the last one. There is a time and a place for having lips on your skin, but having them there permanently is tacky.

10. Barcode:
So you are getting a tattoo to define yourself and become an individual, but the tat you chose is telling people that you are only a number and one among many. You may need to take a deeper look at yourself.