Top Ten: Major Stereotypes

Issue 18, Neslie Tumulac, Entertainment - By Neslie Tumulac on Thursday, February 17, 2011 - 03:43

1. Political Science
We often think of these individuals as outspoken, opinionated or fact-filled political junkies. When in their midst, be prepared for a circling battle of ‘the best point,’ which, of course, these future lawyers and United Nations delegates are sure they will win. For your sake and future friendship, let them win and for a quick way out, nod along with the one-sided debate. Bonus points if you supply him or her with a vote on the ASWC Senate.

2. Sociology
These careful life observers are very aware of the inequalities bestowed by social and power structures. The important thing for you is to know where you stand (hint: support the disadvantaged). So the next time you find yourself having lunch with a few sociology majors, feel free to chime in the conversation but with equal or greater frustration about society’s lack of awareness. As a precaution, finish your entire meal unless you want to take a chance and be shamed for your food waste.

3. Business Administration
As a popular major, your range of potential friends come from a collection of aspiring financers, entrepreneurs, managers, marketers, accountants and international business people. Your charisma, charm, crisp shirts and innovative moneymaking ideas can finally be of use! Know your targets, who they are and what they like. Spout a few inspirational quotes from model business people or films like The Social Network. Be sure to give your future friend a little taste of your own brilliance, while leaving them wanting more. If all fails, take them to lunch in one last attempt to find your synergy. If undiscovered, move onto your next major.

4. Kinesiology and Leisure Science
Athleticism is not a requirement for this major but we would think otherwise since these future coaches, physical therapists and sports managers tend to be Whittier athletes. To make a KLS friend, sport some purple and gold at the next home game or maybe even take it to the next level and ask him or her to spot you in the weight room. But whatever you do, as much as possible try not to question the scientific basis of leisure.

5. Theater & Communication Arts
These majors tend to form a tight-knit group, as you would expect when you fill the stage with passionate actors and stagehands ready to pour their souls into physical storytelling. Friend-seekers should audition for the next show as soon as possible to take advantage of those long production and rehearsal periods. If the stage is not your thing, use your friendship to offer other quality limelight opportunities—be the supportive theater groupie in the front row of the Shannon Center and while at a party give him or her an extra turn at acting out in charades. Your applause and thoughtfulness are equally appreciated.

6. Whittier Scholars Program
If the course catalog were offered at a buffet, you can expect the self-designed majors to have multiple plates of offerings that they simply cannot pick and choose from. They just want it all and where does that leave you in your pursuit of a friend? Your first step is to carefully evaluate. Narrowing down six departments into a self-designed major can take years, so when approaching a WSP major, gauge where they are. Second, offer a patient ear. All their talk of academic self-discovery might muddle up any clarity they have about their major, but hopefully it brings you to a very clear position: in their heart.

7. Biology
If you want to befriend those future biologists, quickly familiarize yourself with biology’s various topics, and at the least, cultivate some basic, default responses. Cells? “Tiny but amaaaazing!” Plants and animals? “I would totally own if I could!” The mirroring technique (reflecting your counterpart’s posture and body movements) also does wonders for the clueless in developing closeness and rapport with your new soon-to-be-friends. Between mitosis and meiosis and you knowing the difference, above all maintain an agreeable persona, but beware of those sneaky pre-med students.

8. English
All those words read by these majors must amount to a whole lot of conversation, so use that to your advantage with an endless supply of questions. What is your favorite class? What books do you like? Which American novelist would you want to parent your child? The more interesting your questions are, the better your conversation and that can only do wonders for your friendship prospects. These majors may be a bit defensive about their tastes and favorite writers, so try not to piss them off while you win them over.

9. Child Development
If you want to win over these majors, you need to be loved by as many children as possible. In an ideal situation, quality would trump quantity, but for the sake of quick impressions the love of twenty children is much more impressive than the sincere adoration of a single child. Because Broadoaks is your closest source of the young ones, your largest obstacle is not location but winning these young fickle hearts over the fresher faces of Justin Bieber and company. Face it: you just are not as cute as you used to be. If you fail with the kids, scrap up some Disneyland tickets for your target and hope he or she is a child at heart.

10. Mathematics
If you can find these majors, you would have a great start. You can ask around or hang outside the math professors’ office to catch a glimpse of those mysterious, number crunching students. “Math? Why math?” you may ask yourselves regarding this questionable source of friends. Considering the fact that math is a universal language that many happily stop speaking after arithmetic, for you, this means one thing: tutoring, so hop on over to CAAS for that one-on-one personal time. No math class this semester? Minor detail.